Things a probably only a Canuck could appreciate.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN BRITISH COLUMBIA
1. Vancouver: 1.5 million people and only two bridges. You do the math.
2. Your $400,000 home is just 5 hours from downtown.
3. You can throw a rock and hit three Starbucks.
4. Weed.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ALBERTA
1. There is a big rock between you and B.C.
2. Tax is 5% instead of 200% for the rest of the country.
3. You can exploit any natural resource you can think of.
4. You live in the only province that could afford to be its own country.
5. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN SASKATCHEWAN
1. You'll never run out of wheat.
2. Your province is really easy to draw.
3. You can watch the dog run away from home for hours.
4. People assume you live on a farm.
5. Daylight savings time? Who needs it?!
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN MANITOBA
1. You wake up one morning to find that you have a beachfront property.
2. Your province has hundreds of huge, horribly frigid lakes.
3. Nothing compares to a Winnipeg winter.
4. You can be an Easterner or Westerner, depending on your mood.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN ONTARIO
1. You live at the centre of the universe.
2. Your $400,000 Toronto home is a dump.
3. You, and you alone, decide who will win the federal election.
4. It’s the only province with hard-core American-style crime.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN QUEBEC
1. Racism is socially acceptable.
2. Other provinces bribe you to stay in Canada.
3. You can blame your problems on immigration.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEW BRUNSWICK
1. One way or another, the government gets 98% of your income.
2. You're poor, but not as poor as Newfies.
3. No one ever blames anything on New Brunswick.
4. Everybody has a grandfather who runs a lighthouse.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NOVA SCOTIA
1. Everyone can play the fiddle. The ones who can't, think they can.
2. You can pretend to have Scottish heritage as an excuse to get drunk and wear a kilt.
3. You are the reason that Anne Murray makes money.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
1. Even though more people live on Vancouver Island, you still got the big, new bridge.
2. You can walk across the province in half an hour.
3. You can drive across the province in two minutes.
4. Everyone's been an extra on "Road to Avonlea."
5. You can confuse ships by turning your porch lights on and off at night.
TOP REASONS TO LIVE IN NEWFOUNDLAND
1. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse.
2. The workday is two hours.
3. It's socially acceptable to wear hip waders to your wedding.
4. It has more moose than people.