Reply to "Fridays Pub Joke"

LOL!!
Here is another bar joke, I should have told on ST. Patricks day.

This guy walks into a bar, sits down, orders double whiskey and keep them coming. He begins to cry uncontrollably. A short, elderly gentlemen seated next to him says " Ladie, what is a troublin yea? What can be that bad?"
The guy between sobs blurts out " Well, I had everything. Then this morning my boss called me in and said not only was I fired, but the company was suining me for bad business decisions I had made. So I packed up my desk but the box wouldn't fit into my Pantera so I had to leave all my work possesions there and I drove home to get my truck. I get home and find a note from my wife, she has run off with my best friend and the truck and all the furniture is gone, I get in my Pantera and start to drive here and a cop jumps from the curb and tells me he is commandering my car to chase a criminal, he gets a block away and crashes it into a handi-capped bus and the car is totalled and he arrests ME, claiming I was drunk and did it. Everyone in the bus is dead but the nursing home is suing me fro everything I got. My bank acoount was totaly cleaned out by my wife and I don't even know how I am gonna pay my bar tab."
So the short old guy says" Lad, you have had a bad day, that is to be for sure, but I will tell you what, I am here to turn things around for you."
What?
Yes, lad, you see I am a leprican and I will make things right for you.
Oh great, tell you what, leave me alone.
No Lad, it is true, I am a leprican. Did you really think I would run around in a green suit? I am going to change your life for yee. When you go home tonight, you will find that parked in your garage will be 1989 Pantera GT5S that has over a million dollars of parts and work done on her. It will do over two-hundred and thirty miles an hour. A thousand horsepower, lad. Wheels that are 24 karret gold plated, diamond shifter knob. 2000 watt per channel stero. A dream car of the highest standards, You will go into your huse to be greated by Jennifer Aniston. She will be madly in love with you. She will make passionate love to you all night long. And when you wake up in the morning, call your bank and you will find you have over thirty four billion dollars in your account. No lad, your life will be transformed."
The guy has stopped crying. He looks at the little old man and says "Thanks. No thanks is not enough. How can I ever repay you??"
No need for that Lad, I am a leprican and that is what we do.
No, I must do something, you have done so much for me. Just name it and I will do it. PLease, I feel a need.
So the little old man looks at him and says "Well, you know, us lepricans are queer."
The guys jaw drops. He is shaken. But he feels a deep obligation. So he agrees to go with the leprican back to the toilet stall in the mens room. There he drops his drawers and let's the old man have his way with him. As the little gray haired man is zipping up his pants he turns and says "By and by laddie, how old be yee?"
The man shaking and sweating on the floor, trying to keep from vomiting in the toilet responds "34 years old. Why do you ask"
The little old mand shakes his head and says "34 years old and ya still believe in lepricans. That is pathetic."