Get this!
My big fat GMC Denali XL is parked in front of the house and my wife notices a ticket on the windshield. "What the f*** is this?" she asks and hands me not ticket, but something that looks like a ticket. It reads "Citizen's Statement of Offence." The complex form from ASAT - Action for Socially Acceptable Transport includes all the relevant vehicle info and indicate the types of offences. My offence was ticked off as "Oversize Gas-Guzzling Vehicle."
It claims phoney money in fines and looks very official, but is clearly a scare piece. The front of the "ticket" says "read other side." The other side goes on to lecture how we should move close to work so we don’t have to drive; we should never speed, let our cars idle or use an automatic starter in winter; use public transport …and on and on.
There's a web site for responses and information - so I decide to have some fun.
I respond to the web site telling them I need to talk to someone about my ticket #.
Some volunteer writes back - "yes, you can talk to me."
So I respond that I got a ticket and don’t know where to pay.
The person writes back "it's not really a ticket - it's raising awareness - just read the other side."
Then I write back the following:
<< What makes you think that I am not aware of the environment or that I do not follow all of the information on your card?
I live close to work and ride my bike to work except in the winter, when I walk most days or share a car pool. I do not speed and take care to ensure the car runs as efficiently as possible. I have always used a corn-based fuel (until Quebec eliminated all Sunoco stations in favor of Ultramar - but I still fill up in Ontario and NY when I can) and I drive less than 5,000km per year (except for an annual trip south which burns a lot less fuel than a jet does.
Which leads me to ask the following questions:
1 - If you are concerned about the environment why kill trees and litter the streets with duplicate copy tickets?
2 - Why don't you save waste and do your homework before making false assumptions about the people you attack?
3 - Are you a volunteer? How much time do you give for free each year toward this effort?
4 - How else do you contribute to environmental reform?
5 - How much tax do you pay?
6 - What do you do to make sure your taxes are being well spent?
There are far more environmentally responsible ways to get your message across instead of the outdated method you are using. It wastes paper, wastes energy to clean it up and recycle it, and wastes time because you are not reaching your target very efficiently.
I look forward to your response. >>
No doubt I'll get some lame response to which I will reply with tear jerking story about my work in Greenpeace, my large donations and personal efforts to support all alternate fuel initiatives and then give them shit for touching my SUV which I use to deliver meals on wheels to the aged once a week.
Then I'll go pour some STP octane booster in my 101 Octane laden Pantera and see how much fuel I can burn up, along with leaving some hot oil and melted rubber granules and go look for some a**hole on a bike kissing trees and putting phoney tickets on cars in my neighborhood.
Am I crazy? Because if they're right we all better park our Panteras and get some nice little Prius to rip around in. Hey did anyone see the Prius display at Monterey?
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