Fridays Joke

Mounting animals ?

OK, here goes . . .

A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son. All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears. "What's wrong?" asked the mother. "I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out," replied the daughter.
The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago. About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears. "Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out." Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16
years ago. A week later her son walked into the room in tears."It's okay" said the Mom, "I know what happened. You were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out." "No," said the boy, "I was playing with myself and I shot the dog."

...What is the Very First 'Sentence' Adam said to Eve?..."You'd better stand 'WAY Back'; I don't know how BIG this Thing's going to get!!"...

A West TexasCowboy's wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength, borne of fury, and cutting calves, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the tool shed out back of the barn. She put his tally-whacker in a vice, and then secured it tightly and removed the handle. Next she picked up an old carpenter's saw. The banged up Cowboy was terrified, and hollered, "Stop! Stop! "You're not gonna cut it off with that rusty damn saw, are you?"

The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her husband's hand and said, "Nope. I'm gonna set this old shed on fire, and go to town for a cold beer. You do whatever you want!!!"