The IRS decides to audit Grandpa,
and summons him to the IRS office.
The auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney.
The auditor said:Well,sir,you have an extravagant
lifestyle and no full-time employment,which you
explain by saying that you win money gambling.
I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.
I'm a great gambler,and I can prove it:says Grandpa
How about a demonstration?
The auditor thinks for a moment and said:Okay,Go ahead.
Grandpa says:I'll bet you a thousand dollars that
I can bite my own eye.
The auditor thinks a moment and says:It's a bet.
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops.
Grandpa says:Now,I'll bet you two thousand dollars
that I can bite my other eye.
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind
so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered
and lost three grand,with Grandpa's attorney as
a witness.He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?'Grandpa asks..
I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand
on one side of your desk,and pee into that
wastebasket on the other side,and never
get a drop anywhere in between.
The auditor,twice burned,is cautious now,but he
looks carefully and decides there's no way this
old guy could possibly manage that stunt,so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants
but although he strains mightily,he can't make the
stream reach the wastebasket on the other side,so he
pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy,realizing that he has just
turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his
head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really: says the attorney.This morning,when
Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit he
bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could
come in here and piss all over your desk and
that you'd be happy about it!...
Don't Mess with Old People!!
Original Post