“Make My Day”
So after a little ride around the neighborhood life is good again. The car is amazing as always but the ride is way too short. Too many winter pot holes to deal with right now. I'll have to wait.
I come back home and decide to clean the winter mess out of the garage - but first I start chopping the big chunks of ice on the sides of the driveway.
I leave the car in front of the driveway and get to work. Every now and again, someone stops by and yells the usual questions… “what kind of car is that? …a what? …is that Italian? …how much horsepower? …how fast does it go?” …and so on. You know the drill.
Neighbors drive by and wave. A nice spring day in the ‘hood.
A few minutes later, I look up from washing the garage floor and I see this constable admiring the car. I figure I’ll make his day and open the rear deck. As I get closer, I see that the dude is trying to place a ticket on my windshield - but can’t find the wipers.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“You’re parked too far from the curb so I’m giving you a ticket” he replies.
“There’s 3 feet of ice in the way,” I explain. “And anyway, this is a tiny crescent with maybe 5 houses and no one’s around – so I’m not blocking anyone – and by the way, I'm standing right here! Why not just ask me to move?”
I listen in as he explains to his partner in French that I have no wipers and should get a ticket for that - then watch as 'she' shakes her head and says “I think you’ve done enough for now.”
He replies, “There’s a lot of money in this car. He can afford it.”
I squeeze the handle of my ice chopper and watch as my life fast-forwards ahead of me.
..with me incarcerated for years, my business goes down the tubes, the wife sells the house and cars, the kids change schools…
As I fade back to the present I hear him saying “You have 30 days to contest the ticket if you like.” I reflect on how 30 years of grief would probably not be worth the pleasure of acting on my desires.
If I get a ticket the very first time I take the car out - and I'm still in the driveway - then what's going to happen when I'm on the road with my foot planted firmly in the Pantera pleasure garden??
Oh well, another ticket to fight in court.
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Good one Mark! The Costible is profiling you as rich and can afford a ticket.. Tell the Judge what he said.... George is right, poor bastard..