Quick Thinking – Part One
Drinkin’ and drivin’ in Newfoundland...
Two Newfies, Archie and Harry, were driving down the road drinking a couple of beers.
The passenger, Harry, suddenly said,“Lord tundering... up ahead -- it's a police roadblock!! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ dese here beers!!”
“Don’t worry,” Archie said. “We’ll just pull over and finish dese beers, then peel off the label, stick it on our foreheads, and trow the bottles under the seat.”
“What fer?”
“Jist let me do de talkin’, OK?”
So they finished their beers, threw the empties out of sight and put a label on each of their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the police officer took a long look at the two of them and said, “You boys been drinkin’?”
“No sir,” said Archie, pointing at the labels. “We’re on the patch.”
Quick Thinking – Part Two
A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. “Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida sate trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought,
“What am I doing? I’m too old for this!” and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked a his watch, then said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding – a reason I’ve never before heard – I’ll let you go.”
The old gentleman paused then said: “Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”
“Have a good day, sir,” replied the trooper.
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