1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like...night.
3. On the other hand, you have different
fingers
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up
on the spot.
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad
name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are
below average.
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without
enthusiasm.
9. The early bird may get the worm, but the
second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture
some people have.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of
a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending
machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a
couple of payments.
14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis?
Raise my hand.
15. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, you're
in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness
pays off now.
18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some
just don't have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without
sponges?
20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get
sucked into jet engines.
21. What happens if you get scared half to
death twice?
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made
your horn louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your
name?
24. Inside every older person is a younger
person wondering what happened.
25. Just remember - if the world didn't suck,
we would all fall off.
26. Light travels faster than sound. that's
why some people appear bright until you
hear them speak.
27. Life isn't like a box of chocolates....
it's more like a jar of jalapenos, what
you do today, might burn your butt
tomorrow.
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