Understanding Engineers

Forwarded by a friend:


It's not possible to understand Engineers. They are strange!!



Understanding Engineers #1
Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one
said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,
"Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took
off all her
clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded
approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you
anyway."

Understanding Engineers #2
To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is
half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers #3
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with
those guys?
We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I
don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here
comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello, George.
What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't
they?" The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind
firemen. They
lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always
let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The
priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them
tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for
them." The engineer
said, "Why can't they play at night?"

Understanding Engineers #4
What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers #5
The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate
with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an
accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts
degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers #6
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have
designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just
look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.
The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last
one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would
run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers #7
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers
believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Understanding Engineers #8
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and
said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent
over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up
again and
said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay
with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you
kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and
do anything you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it
and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the
matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for
one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer
said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a
talking frog - now that's cool."