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The Wall Street Shuffle

Socialism: You have two cows. The state nationalizes one and gives it to your neighbour.

Communism: You have two cows. The state takes both and gives you some milk.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

Lehman Brothers Venture Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at Bear and Sterns, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights for the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sell the rights to all seven cows to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a lobbyist in the Federal capital, leaving you nine cows. The public then buys your bull.
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