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The Redneck Challenge--

We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South, and we challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane (B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle (C) '64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20
gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many dogs will be killed?

6. A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

8. Witha gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya?

It's okay if'n ya didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya...There's a whole heap of things that big city book-learning don't prepare ya for in this life.

As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK CHALLENGE", here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece...

Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.
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Absolutely inspired!

I can see a whole new series of "regional" math jokes.

i.e. The temp is 13 degrees, it last snowed 4 days ago. When the avalanche comes down, how many obnoxious tourists (you know who you are) will be buried?


quote:
The Redneck Challenge--

We are sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the South, and we challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam:
1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard?
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane (B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle (C) '64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20
gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many dogs will be killed?

6. A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

7. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

8. Witha gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

I betcha thought that there test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya?

It's okay if'n ya didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya...There's a whole heap of things that big city book-learning don't prepare ya for in this life.

As an added bonus for taking the "REDNECK CHALLENGE", here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a piece...

Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza shop and place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with them.
quote:
Originally posted by lastpushbutton:
Sorry Larry, The anser is C.. The GTO.. It's not because of it's location..when the car sits on blocks, it becomes grounded and the southeren humididity acts as a conductor seting up the electrolisis that oxidizes the metal.

But they was all sitting up on blocks. The GTO is one of them ferin ferret cars that only itlains drive so he was right, a true redneck wouldn't be caught dead in one. The other are a chebbie and a FORD. We all know which of them is built better. It was a pretty tricky question though.
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