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25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?"

BONUS:
26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.
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quote:
Originally posted by David B:
Fortunately, funny as this is, I was able to find 5 or 6 that didn't apply to me. Glad to know there is still hope for us old guys.


Me too, thank God!

I NEVER get up at 6am, and usually don't go to bed until after midnight. Last weekend I was out till 4am, but I can't drink like I used to. :-)

What the heck is the Weather Channel? My iPhone tells me the weather.

I don't take naps...yet.

I eat breakfast whenever I want. And I prefer to not be awake at "breakfast time".

Drink at home? Isn't that the sign of a problem?

Great list. Good fun.

R.
At least 8-10 of 'em don't apply to me - would have been higher if it wasn't for my wife (e.g. houseplants would have no chance if left to me). I'll admit it, I'm stretching for a few - I don't officially take naps, but have fallen asleep at the keyboard a few times - but that's the fault of #4.

I don't believe car insurance ever goes down!

The good news for some folks is that as you get even more grown-up, things like the loss of memory, inhibitions and giving a D*#& will let you start crossing off things like #1, #2, #5, #11 (there won't be any), #13, #20, and as a bonus #25 ;-)
Last edited by 5754
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