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I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Pal at Big W and standing inline at the check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid b*tch...why else would I buy dog food??
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Here's one for you:

A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from
San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"

"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a
lift?"

"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three
hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two
chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I
don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could
you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I' ll give you $100 for your trouble."

"I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two
chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the
blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat
belts. Off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving
through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified!! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd.

With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road
and ran over to the blonde. What the heck are you
doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take
these chimpanzees to the zoo."



"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde," but we
had money left over---so now we're going to Sea World.
I was building a Push Cart at work one day out of 4"x4" steel box tubing. My supervisor who is all of 28-29 with a degree in Mech Eng from U of M walked up and asked me (I had the base on the bench 50"x 40" with the vertical riser on it) do the wheels go on the bottom of this?? I was like it cannot be this easy!!! I said no they go on the top! He turned and looked at the push cart..turned backed and asked me, "How do you push it with the wheels on the top??" I said thats just in case you tip it over you can still push it! He just turned and walked away! LOL I turned to my partner and he was just dying laughing, telling me how I was not right to pick on him like that...the whole shop heard about it, and had a good laugh!!
Jeff
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