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If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have $49.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have $33.00 today.

If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have $0.00 today. But....

if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for a recycling refund, you would have received $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.
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CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
For the last 2 months I have thrown my retirement statements right in the garbage ...right from the mailbox ... not to worry it will come back ... remember the politicians retirments are in the same BOAT and you bet dollar for dollar ..they are a lot closer to retirement .. so rest assure ..their plan is ... focus on a fast recovery.

Originally posted by 72red:
Don't invest in the market. The value of my Pantera has held up much better. I am pulling all my retirement savings out of the market and investing in big brakes and a new crate motor along with a full leather interior and all carbon-fiber body.

Actualy, that is a good idea. Only not just yet. First we will experience dissinflation, which will mean the value of the dollar will tempararoly increase. This is because everyone will be out of a job and won't be able to buy anything so prices will come down drasticaly. This is a time to hold on to cash. Next, once employment starts coming back, inflation will take off like it never has before because there is still a lot of dollars out there that are not backed by anything. Once that happens, buy all the Panteras you can. They will shoot through the roof on dollar value. I imagine when all is said and done million dollar Panteras will not be uncommon. Of course filling them with $100 dollar a gallon gas may be problematic.
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