Staff memo from the board of directors, Santa Claus Inc.
Dear Staffers,
The announcement that Donner and Blitzen have accepted early reindeer retirement packages has triggered concern about reindeer downsizing and other restructuring decisions at the North Pole.
The streamlining is due to the North Pole's loss of dominance in the seasonal gift distribution business, due mainly to online shopping. Santa Claus and the board cannot permit further erosion of the profit picture.
The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the use of a lighter Japanese sled for the CEO's annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer is anticipated.
Reindeer reduction will also result in less airborne environmental emissions (gas and solid waste).
Rudolph's role will not be disturbed. Tradition still counts for something at the North Pole! But management denies reports that Rudolph's nose is the result of substance abuse. Calling Rudolph "a lush who was into the sauce and never did pull his share of the load" was an unfortunate comment, made by one of Santa's helpers at a time when they are known to be under 'executive stress.'
deniscCaretaker of 8MA1244 '70 Euro Mangusta DRIVE THEM, THEY WERE MEANT TO BE DRIVEN, IF YOU WANT TO LOOK AT ONE, BUY A POSTER!
Original Post