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A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask
over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four
hour, surgical procedure.


A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.


"Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"


Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir, I'm only
here to wash your upper body and feet."


He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"


Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his
testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back
the covers.


She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his
testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around.


Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing
wrong with them, sir."


The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says
very slowly,


"Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very,
very closely......



"A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - back?".



Wink
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Here's a true story.

I'm an E.M.T. and we dropped off a patient at the trauma center E.R. Our patient was female, a bit on the heavy side, and was involved in a motor vehicle accident. As a precaution, they always check for blood in the rectum.

Doctor: " Maam, I'm going to put my finger in your bottom and you're going to feel a litle pressure."

Patient: " That's not my bottom"
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